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glorfindel's movie reviews: 300



This movie is bad ass. See it.

 

Comments

Ok, I saw it.

It's not bad ass. It's just bad.

The acting is tolerable, but the action, which is pretty much the only point to the movie, is contrived. Most action scenes are designed to focus attention on the prettily-whirling and twirling protagonists, the Spartans/Greeks, yet were one to give half a glance toward the antagonists, the Persians, one would clearly see that they're charging into the fray without any thought toward effective offense or defense. As a matter of fact, if I didn't know better I'd swear the Persians were deliberately setting up the Spartans for easy kills. I know I may be totally out of line here, but it almost seems part of a poorly-choreographed, Ramboesque action movie! Oh wait...

This movie is a perfect representation of the horrendous lack of depth and quality seen throughout virtually all segments of the entertainment industry--all hype and no substance. If you still "ooooh" and "ahhhh" at the same fireworks displays you've seen at least once per year, every year, your entire life, this movie will make you giggle and coo and soil yourself with glee. If you enjoy a bit more meat with your potatoes, look elsewhere.

"Soil yourself"??

I pretty much still soil myself when get to look out the window of an airplane when it takes off, so when I see this movie again I'm gonna wear my Depends.

"...the action, which is pretty much the only point to the movie..."

Agreed.

And yes, it is kind of contrived. The persian "elite guard" are pretty much a bunch of dumb-asses that I couldn't really distinguish from the lower-class persian sword-fodder other than by their more expensive armor.

The question is: does it look cool when their heads get chopped off and the spray of blood comes out in slow motion like in... uh... a Frank Miller comic book?

*gleefully soils self*

The airplane reference is a bad one. You experience an airplane takeoff; you watch a movie.

"...does it look cool when their heads get chopped off and the spray of blood comes out in slow motion...?"

Yep.

Considering the glacial pacing of the movie, could there have been so very much more?

Yep.

Well....

I saw the movie in IMAX, so the blood spatters were at least 50 feet tall. *sticks out tongue*

By the way, I'm curious whether you've read any China Mieville, and if you have, what you think....

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