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Sign up for junk mail: get a student loan

The worst thing about having a lot of student loans is the debt. Coming in a close second is student loan-related junk mail.

Important Notice to Carey Cuprisin

Notice: Student Loan Information Inclosed
Reference # 2331 - 134592255
Carey Cuprisin
Address line 1
Ann Arbor, MI 48104

Dear Carey,

PLEASE CONTACT US REGARDING YOUR STUDENT LOANS AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE. TOLL FREE AT (800) XXX-XXXX

THIS IS NOT A LATE PAYMENT NOTICE. NEXTSTUDENT IS NOT YOUR CURRENT LENDER.

RESPECTFULLY,
NEXTSTUDENT

YOU CAN CHOOSE TO STOP RECEIVING "PRESCREENED" OFFERS OF CREDIT FROM THIS AND OTHER COMPANIES BY CALLING TOLL-FREE 1-888-OPT-OUT.

I have no reason to believe that calling the "opt-out" number will do any good at all. They'll probably just be glad to get my phone number so they can spam that, too. The only equally effective way I've found to sign up for as much junk mail is to take out a subscription to Smithsonian magazine. . . .

Comments

Become a member of the patent bar, and you're signing up for student loan levels of junk, I found to my dismay.

And you'd cringe if you saw all the junk mail that you get if you're on the AMA's mailing list...

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